Sunday, April 26, 2015

Krabby Patties

Are you ready?! I'm ready, I'm ready for some delicious Krabby Patties straight from The Krusty Krab. Sure you might say, don't you mean a hamburger? No... I mean a Krabby Patty. There's a difference, gosh darn it. For this recipe I'm going to channel episode "Jellyfish Hunter" of Spongebob Squarepants where The Krusty Krab features Krabby Patties with jellyfish jelly. As you can see in the video below, they will make you bust out in a lovely dance from pure bliss.



Unfortunately it is vey painful and time consuming to milk jellyfish for their jelly... so maybe just pick your favorite kind from the grocery store. Personally, I like grape.

What you'll need:
1/2 of a large onion
Oil, for frying
3-4 tbsp water
2-3 tbsp grape jelly
1 egg
1/2 cup bell peppers, minced
2 tbsp cilantro, freshly chopped
1 pound ground chicken, turkey, or beef
1/2 cup bread crumbs
6 mini sesame buns
6 cheese slices
6 tomato slices
Lettuce (at least three large leaves)
Pickles, for garnish
Condiments - ketchup, mayo, mustard (optional)

Instructions:
1. Chop onions into long, thin slices. Fry slices over low heat, until soft and translucent.
2. Stir in water and jelly. Mix very well until jelly combines with water.
3. Cook, stirring occasionally, until onions have caramelized and most of the water has evaporated.
4. Meanwhile, make burgers by combining egg, meat, cilantro, and bell peppers. Add breadcrumbs until mixture is dry enough to shape.
5. Divide mixture into rounds and flatten into 6 patties.
6. Grill burgers on each side until cooked through. Transfer to prepared plate.
7. Layer each burger as follows:
Bottom bun
Your choice of ketchup, mayo, or mustard (or all three!)
Patty
Cheese slice
Pickles
Lettuce
Caramelized onions
Tomato slice
Top bun
8. Serve, and enjoy the taste of natural jelly.

Confession time- I am 21 years old and I still watch Spongebob on a regular basis. I'll give you a moment to judge me........ okay, done? Great. These Krabby Patties taste exactly how I imagine them to taste based off of the show. Sometimes I even cook them for my niece in an attempt to convert her to my Spongebob cult. I think it's working. 

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